It's Over...Continued

Well today Carla called me and asked when I was going to bring over Taylor's things. I told her I'd box up the things she had bought and drop them by. I didn't care to see her. I layed into her and told her she had better find that boy some discipline!! I told her about how people feel about Taylor's behavior. You can't raise a boy to be a man just loving them all the time. She told me she didn't want Taylor to be afraid. I guess she was referrring to Ken getting down on Taylor's level and making eye contact while discussing the way we should and shouldn't act. Now I remember her saying the same thing about the other family!! AGH!! You can't let a three year old just do what they want to. I got on my soap box and then ended the call.

Immediately I went home and packed his things. I delivered them to her office and left promptly without a word.

I knew I needed to return the key fob for daycare, so I swung by to do that. It just so happens it is at our church. I just happened to arrive during nap time. At first I was talking to the director and then some of the teachers stepped into the hallway. I told them the whole story of how this just slapped us upside the head...blind sided us. We all talked about how Taylor seriously needs discipline. Then I found out another family is already picking him up.

OH MY GOSH!! I wanted to puke and cry. So many times this woman has lied to us!! His teacher told me she had thought about contacting Child Protective Services. I told them I thought Carla had done more harm than his mother by bouncing him from family to family.

I told them I don't care who ends up with Taylor. I just want that boy to have a home. He deserves that at the very least!! At this point I do not know Carla's motivation.

I was really fired up when I left the daycare. I went straight home and called the local office to report her. The boy needs stability and this woman keeps bouncing him around. It is not fair to him at all.

I left home and met Ken. We discussed things and felt sick together. When I returned, there was a message on the recorder from Taylor's case worker. I told him the whole spill and explained my concern for Taylor. I told him there would be logs at the daycare of who picked him up and dropped him off. (He would have access because the State is paying for it.) We discussed the other family before us and he asked why Carla keeps changing families. I told him I did not know her motivation, as they were all Christian families. I also told him we were more like the other family than she thought.

They will probably be contacting me again, as I told him I had all the visits documented at my office. I hate to say that I called the State on her, but I feel as if I had no choice. This little boy needs a chance. Carla's wishy-washiness is not helping this little boy. She has told him that this is going to be his home forever. Poor, poor boy. He needs an opportunity and she keeps giving them and taking them away.

How sad.

It's Over

The last four months have been a real learning experience. We had a breath of fresh air brought into our home. For that I am thankful. I think it made a lot of positive changes in our lives.

What I didn't anticipate was the bottom falling out. Taylor has been staying with us 5 nights a week for the past couple of months. Now it is over.

Carla (the grandma) told me she wanted him for Thanksgiving last week. She picked him up on Tuesday. We called that night and she said he was throwing a fit and didn't even suggest he come to the phone. On Wednesday, she called and asked me to bring a few items to her before we went out of town. (These were things she had sent over for him that were not used on a regular basis, but of some value to her.) I thought the request was odd, but we dropped them off on our way out of town.

We accidentally ran into them and got to see Taylor for a minute. He acted differently. I don't know how to put my finger on it, but it was definitely odd.

We called again on Thanksgiving evening. Carla has caller ID and was somewhat taken back when she found out it was Ken on the phone. She immediately said Taylor had gone to bed already. It was still early for Taylor.

The following morning I called her office and found out she had the day off. I called her at home and left a message, telling her I wanted to talk to Taylor. She never called us back that weekend.

Monday morning rolled by and Carla called late that afternoon. She told me she was going to pick up the baby and she had some things to work out. I asked her, "Carla, what does that mean?" She told me she didn't think she could give him up. I told her I won't put my family through this anymore and I would pack up some of his things.

That was the end.

Just a couple of weeks ago, we sat down in a neutral territory to discuss visitation during the adoption and after. We asked her to take him for a week at that time. She immediately said no. She didn't want to have him for a week. She said her nerves couldn't handle him. I'm just not sure what changed in a short period of time. Her health couldn't have miraculously improved.

I'm just so angry. I feel for Taylor if she plans on raising him. I've had daycare providers ask me how we put up with him because Taylor is a brat (putting it mildly). He has a lot of problems to work out. Most of those problems stem from Carla not instilling discipline in him as a toddler. We've seen some great changes in Taylor. He has been responding well to the structure and discipline in our home. Even if it's not us, he needs to have a family. Please pray for this little boy.